30 THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU A PIONEER AND NOT A SETTLER!

Guys, it’s time! Time to separate the reals from the fake, the Queen B’s from the Kardashians, the Pioneers from the settlers. This is what makes you a pioneer! Hopefully you can Identify and enjoy!

1. If you’ve never had a conversation with Pope St. John, and not laugh or smile then you’re not a pioneer.
2. If you’ve never texted your home girl (or homie) to come open the door for you, because you stayed out past curfew then you’re not a pioneer.
3. If you’ve never had to squeeze six people into an individual study room, because all the group study rooms had one person in all of them then you are not a pioneer.
4. If you’ve never pranked Lisa Downs then you’re not a pioneer.
5. If you’ve never shed a few gangsta tears after walking out of the cashiers office, because you just made a payment then you’re not a pioneer.
6. If you’ve never contemplated walking pass the scanners when there is no one to scan you in then you’re not a pioneer.
7. If by spring semester of your senior year you haven’t proposed to the girl you’ve been dating since freshman year then you’re not a pioneer.
8. If you’ve never sat alone with the opposite sex, and literally that exact same day people ask if you guys are dating then you’re not a pioneer.
9. If you’ve never used all of your flex and meal scan in the first month of the semester then you’re not a pioneer.
10. If you’ve never squeezed someone’s hand after community benediction at chapel then you’re not a pioneer.
11. If this has never been your life priority list at least once this year then you’re not a pioneer: 1. Netflix 2. School.
12. If you’ve never had spicy chicken Thursday then you’re not a pioneer.
13. If you’ve never gotten hype at a football game, because of how hype Mario gets then you’re not a pioneer.
14. If you’ve never asked yourself, “Where do all the nursing majors go?”, then you’re not a pioneer.
15. If you haven’t had a conversation with D.T that lasted longer than five minutes then you are not a pioneer.
16. If you’ve never liked a Scott Kramer Facebook post then you’re not a pioneer.
17. If you’ve never had to talk yourself into not skipping your 8 am class then you’re not a pioneer.
18. If you never die a little every time you hear tuition go up then you’re not a pioneer.
19. If you’ve never prayed to God to let you pass a test you didn’t study for then you’re not a pioneer.
20. If you’ve never heard your Prof Say “Check the Syllabus” then you’re not a pioneer.
21. If you’ve never prayed for more fruity pebbles at the cafe then you’re not a pioneer.
22. If you’ve never had the pop machine keep running after you moved your cup then you’re not a pioneer.
23. If you don’t eat ice cream in the winter time then you’re not a pioneer.
24. If you’ve never taken a picture of the campus and posted it on social media then you’re not a pioneer.
25. If you’ve never been friend zone, turned down for a date, or started a relationship all in the gazebo then you’re not a pioneer.
26. If you’ve never gotten *Lit* at an ASG event then you’re not a pioneer.
27. If you’ve never started using the terms “Friends” or “Lean in” after spending a chapel with Brady Braatz then you’re not a pioneer.
28. If you’ve never been hunted down by Gale after going over ten minutes with a to-go box then  you’re not a pioneer.
29. You’re not a pioneer if you’ve never heard St. John say “Go be Holy.”
30. If you’ve never applied for chapel forgiveness then you’re not a pioneer.

~Div

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